Very new and still on the fence about a lot of things. We met. Igot nervous and bailed on him the next day. Never called him back. Istill feel bad about that. I just froze up. I learned from it though. Ishould have been up front about my need to be femme. I should have beenup front about lots of stuff. So, I cooled it for a while. I went soulsearching, I cleaned myself up. I was feeling old and fat, I couldn't doanything about my age but I went on a diet. I regrouped and decided tojust put it all out there on the line. A Hell Mary. so I went back on CLand trolled the boards again. Same thing, lots of playing but nothing waspanning out. I almost quit. Then I answered an ad from a black guylooking for a bottom friend, when I answered this ad however, I sent apicture of me in panties from the waist down. I wanted there to be nodoubt about what I was into. I got a reply almost instantly. That wassomething new.We emailed back and forth a few times and then I gave him my number. Hecalled. However, she’d allowed her own self-doubt to take charge. She’d ignored her accomplishments, and let three girls, who she knew disliked her, affect her self-image and self-esteem. Her mother was right, of course. That momentary lapse had caused her to spend four weeks in abject solitude. It had cost her the opportunity to complete the Seven Progressive Challenges and to prove to everyone that she could be uninhibited, that she was no longer a prude. In her momentary lapse she’d quit the Seven Progressive Challenges, and that was that. It was her own doing, she would live with it, and use it as an object lesson. It was the price of not maintaining control. Denise, sadness evident in her eyes, conviction in her expression, looked to her mother and answered, ‘Mother, you are right. I will celebrate the holidays and I will start the New Year with an emphasis on enjoying my life.’ Annika smiled at her beautiful Jamaican daughter and toasted, ‘To a happy and uninhibited life!’ Denise.
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